


To See your Eyes Again

by Reinamarieseregon



Series: BigBang Fenris [1]
Category: 2015 new, Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age BigBang, Dragon Age II
Genre: Blindness, Broody Elf, F/M, Fenris and cat, Fenris wants to hit Anders, Freedom, Healing Magic, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Mages, Mercenary raids, Minor Anders/Hawke, Multi, Romance, Sarcastic Anders, Wicked Grace, importance of cats therapy, slave rescues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-03-26 03:35:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3835507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reinamarieseregon/pseuds/Reinamarieseregon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During a raid, Fenris finds himself blinded in an explosion and separated from his love. He has no choice but to come to terms with losing his independence and solitude. Patience is not his forte either. What in life is more priceless than things we take for granted?</p>
            </blockquote>





	To See your Eyes Again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ladyoflaurelindorenan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyoflaurelindorenan/gifts), [TheRedWriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRedWriter/gifts).



> My first attempt at Bigbang (Published in June)  
> Takes place sometime after Hadrianna is slain, and starring most of them  
> Thank you Kim Bradshaw for exquisite artwork [newly dedicated to my great friends)

 

* * *

The explosion was deafening as I fell. The poison gas seared into my eyes, like what the magisters had inflicted on me during that ritual. When it subsided to a throb, I seemed to be weeping and longed to rub at them. With all my effort, I raised one hand to do it, but it was weighed down by metal. _Ah, vishante_ _I’ll scratch my face with these accursed gauntlets._ Perhaps I screamed my frustration.Moments of blank whiteness in my head, what had I been doing before? My eyes were still streaming tears and the agony was more extraordinary than what had scarred me. Pure blackness when I forced them open. NO how can this be happening? I closed them again.

                  My heart palpitated and cold sweat engulfed my body. I tried again and again. _Maybe, it is too dark here. I must leave, find some light._

“Fenris? Messere Elf?” a voice called, from behind. With that, I started to remember the fragments of what came before—Hawke and I had broken into this cavern to save some fugitives! This wench was probably one of them. I shouted for Hawke a few times. Then I tried to hold something so I could stand, hating my vulnerability. _How can this be happening? She CANNOT be gone!_  I trembled with weariness, punching the wall with my fist. My ears pricked but other than the girl babbling, and my own harsh breathing, there was no response. Good news, I had no broken bones or fractures. Maybe my head would hurt, so I can still go and find Hawke. Using that as a mantra, I rose to my feet. I _cannot_ afford to rest now.

“Fenris. Er, something’s wrong with your eyes. Are you alright?” the girl squeaked, and she sounded nearer to me. She’d better not touch me.

“I know. The explosion, where is Hawke? The lady who came with me.” I demanded. She could give no information except that she was scared, wanted to leave this place. She was gripping my belt tightly and I wanted to make her let go. But without sight I had no choice.

“Poison. They- they used it on the others. It was so horrible….”

I raised my palm. My low voice concealed the anger and frustration that wanted to become senseless cursing at the Fates. 

“Listen to me, girl. You can see, for now I cannot. I had a weapon, can you see where it is?” She went quiet and stumbled away, then said yes she saw its gleam amongst some rocks. Fumbling for the hilt, I retrieved the Oathbreaker, a hammer-maul.

This time I was wearing boots so my soles were not cut. Progress forward was agonizingly slow! Why had I not avoided that explosion, _faasta vas_? So many doubts assailed my head, as I tried to control the manner that the tattoos wanted to surface. I did not want her to touch me, so she held on to my belt, saying where there was an obstruction. I still tripped and brushed or knocked against some surfaces. Have all the rogues died in this place? Will my eyes be back to normal? As my stomach alternated between butterflies and stones being tossed around inside, bile rose in my throat.

 

I heard her crying and trying to muffle the sound. She should stop, it reminded me of worse times cowering and waiting for rescue that never came…  I truly hoped I did not encounter any enemies, or we’d surely perish. None of the Tevinter- training had prepared me for this kind of crisis. Those tyrannous Magisters liked to test their experiments on elven slaves but to ensure the maximum effect, we were all forced to see as someone who erred made mistakes. Then I snapped out of this wretched flashback, a tough thing to do.

I demanded, “Did they all die? The kidnappers and your friends?” Probably this woman was not the best source of information, but she was the Only one who could make sense of the situation now.

“M-maybe if I held your arm messere, I can better aid you. You and she were both killing them. Some humans ran out. She told me to duck and then someone bad threw a bomb. I fell down.  Smoke everywhere, many died. I wanted to get up and run away, but then I saw your… your white hair. This Hawke said you’re Fenris. Then you were shouting, that it hurt so much. Maker! ” Her voice was still quivering from fear and shock. I pictured all these events, my stomach turning.

 “Humans. And you are not one?” I winced when she pressed on the markings. I jerked away.

 “Sorry, you’re in pain. I’m an elf too, Vania. You- you can call me so.” I did not hate her so much now that I knew but we were still lost. The mental picture of a girl with pointed ears, ah.  Luckily they had forgotten to blindfold her so she was trying to make out the markings on the walls. “She said she was going to save us. Come this way. I think I recognize this wing….”

 As if I had a choice which direction to go, being blinded. As the markings stung, I decided to keep one hand on Vania’s shoulder while we picked our way through this blasted place. “I’m tired. Can we stop a while?” she asked, panting.

 “Do you want to die?” I regretted my impulsive harshness. What if she left me alone and ran off? “Just… a few minutes.” I feared I would not be able to move so I settled with leaning against a wall. After that, it was blissfully silent until there was some shouting and cries of pain ahead.

 I told Vania to stay back and Phased.  Something hit a man and he gurgled on blood. Vania begged me to be careful. “Hey Broody! That a girl? Where’s Hawke?” Maker, what a welcoming voice it was, Varric! I smiled, though my heart sank.

 The Abomination was calling out some spells. When Vania screamed, a man was impaled on my hand. Pounding footsteps. Varric asked why were my eyes closed and bleeding. “Blondie quit playing and come here.”

Although Anders was a pain in the ass, hearing his reply brought me immeasurable relief! “Right, I was just finishing up here.”  I heard the roar of flames and then my body ached from the Spirit of Justice’s presence.

 “I cannot see. Was a bomb… I don’t know where she is.” I said and had the sudden urge to faint. Vania began to tell them her side of the story. Mage was silent for once and used a healing spell over my face. We were seated. I smelled crisp air. The invisible fingers were cold and welcoming from the searing.  

 

“Fenris, we’ll- we’ll find her. Just take a break.” Dwarf spoke and there was a touch of worry in his voice.

 

Anders was frustratingly silent. He would never shutup when we argued but now… “Mage. Can you cure these?” I didn’t want him to hear the fear in my tone, rather the anger.  My legs would not obey me though I tried to get up. He forced me back and then he apologized. Why?

A sleep spell was taking over my body. I opened my mouth to curse at him, but fell into the numbing sleep. _Was it because… I cannot see anymore? Abomination you had better make this all right._

* * *

 

**Helpless**

 

Something sticky and tight had glued my eyes shut. My skin tingled, I was lying on something soft and they had taken off my armor. How could I have let my guard   down? To have been out this long – BLASTED folly on my part. “What’s happening?” I hoped they did not hear the panic in my voice. My bare hands tried to remove the blindfold. My breathing hitched in my chest. Has some magister drugged me again? _Vishante._

 “You should rest, Fenris. The bandage needs to stay until all the herbs are soaked in. I wouldn’t suggest taking them off now.”  That pompous Anders, I could picture him assume a lecturing position with hands in the air. He made the mistake of grabbing my shoulder and yelped when the markings came to life and stung him. That was the only normalcy now.

 Why would he care? We were not friends. He continued speaking in a flat voice, “You are safe, and so is that girl Vania. The others had run into us when escaping. ”

 “Mage. Where’s… where is she?” Although I was trembling and disoriented, everything was still dark, I managed to struggle upright and my feet felt for the floor. The tattoos refused to obey me, pulsing in emotion.

“Hawke, she’s okay. She just went to eat something, calm down.” 

Then I turned to the sound of _her_ voice! Luciena Hawke said my name, and she sounded like crying. I tried to get up but the idiot mage pushed me back down. I demanded for him to let me go. I didn’t like her being distressed.

She must have bathed, she smelled of olives and fragrance and I noticed it intensified so much I coughed. “Here, drink some water, Fenris. You’ve been hurt- badly.”

 

I fumbled in the air, until the cup was pushed to my hand and I grasped it. I felt the water splash as I drank. “My eyes, it was some sort of bomb. But where did you go, Hawke?”

Now she was here and her fingers feeling my hair, my worries eased. Our fingers met. I swallowed.

 

They were very silent. Except for the wind and breathing, and the scents, nothing. _Venhedis, how are they ignoring me? If only I could…. Wait._  “Mage, haven’t you healed me?” I growled.

 

Anders responded, “I- tried. But, this is hard. You want to try to talk to him, Hawke?” He did not sound gloating, which I fully expected. And where was that weird spirit presence?

 

“You must be happy I can’t see!” I snapped, not knowing why.

Anders sputtered. She jumped in to respond, “Please don’t blame him, Fenris. Listen, I know you are very upset. I- I got separated from you, because when they tossed some bombs I evaded them. Had to save some of the people. But, anyway I am fine now, Fenris. Varric said they later found you at the south entrance of the caverns. Does it… hurt?” She talked so much, that I needed time to think, to understand. Also, this healing would take time. But it was unknown how long a cure could be found.

 I nodded slowly. My head hurt immensely. And she apologized for the condition I was in, and how she should have tried to find us. Then they prompted what did I think? I would be a fucking burden, what kind of warrior am I if I’m thus disabled? I lay back, and tried to open my eyes despite the cloth. It did not hurt but I could not take it off yet.

“Fenris? You.. you can talk to me. Are you tired? You look so white.” She gently cupped my face, away from the markings up to my neck. I sighed and turned away.

I did not sleep and was actually awake even when their footsteps moved away and the door closed. Was I in his clinic, or house? Although part of me wanted to scream my despair, I was too exhausted to do it.

 

* * *

 

 

Somehow I ended up on the floor the next time. I had tripped on some fool- thing and was on my hands and knees. They asked in multiple voices if I was alright. “Go away!” I did not want to be touched, even if it was well-meaning. When I could see, I didn’t remember or notice the pitch or tones of my friends. Hm, if they could all be considered as such.  There was Aveline saying everything was taken care of and I was in one of Anders’ clinics. Since when had he set up another? She had quite a low, tough voice, that invoked an image of her ginger hair.

 “When I got back from a raid, they wouldn’t let me come in. We’ll just be here, okay darling?” Isabela with her rich accent, chimed in. Then Hawke urged them to give me some space and pushed a chair closer.

“I can do this.” At last, I fumbled my way and could sit on the chair. It was far too daunting to leave this seat.  Isabela tried to talk about some gossip and jokes, though I was in no real mood to listen.  That just redirected the centre of focus on my useless condition. Finally when Varric called me, I smiled trying to estimate which direction he was approaching from. He always sounded so happy, how did he manage? It was dreadful imagining a future unable to see anything or anyone for an undetermined period of time!  I held out my naked hand and the short guy clasped my fingers gently with his soft leather gloves. I swallowed. He had introduced me to Diamondback and all those games. I wouldn't be able to play anymore.

Varric said, " Hm I'm seeing about fashioning a card set with raised numbers and pictures. And with lots of naked boobs which you can feel. How's that sound Elf?"

They seemed to be waiting, even the pirate had stopped. " Ah, sure. But I don't owe you any coin." I was astonished that they managed a laugh.  

Hawke told me encouraging true stories of how blind heroes got around, with the remaining four senses of hearing, smell, taste and touch. “You are not helpless Fenris. You are not alone, please remember that.”

I nodded and kissed her cheek. She guided me until our lips touched, hers was honey sweet. I supposed my lips must be cracked from not drinking water and my breath must smell. But Hawke did not care.

“But how can I protect you, my love?” was my primary concern. My fingertips wandered over her eyes as she chuckled. My thumb rested on her nose.

 “Oh Fenris, it’s itchy. You’ll find a way. After all you’ve accomplished so much before we came along.” Her voice had a richness that I’d never noticed before this.  "You’ll always be _My Special Elf_ alright?” She choked up and excused herself. Tears wanted to spill forth and the saltiness stung even more than when I could see, so I willed them back. 

 

I had no choice but to allow the friends to take me back to my house, when most of the wounds healed. Hawke and Aveline wouldn’t hear of me walking the long distance and I was ‘bundled into’ a carriage with new clothes. My weapons and armor would be fixed. Indoors, I could smell the air was no longer musty and stale with corpses or dark magic. Dwarf proudly introduced some of his contacts. “Cleared all the dead and demons, fixed the holes on the floors so you won’t fall. Ho! Not that anyone will notice, dazzled by your handsome broodiness.” _Frankly,_ I could do with less pampering and compliments of my appearance. The stranger responded to his banter. I growled, gripping the cane. Anders had fashioned a cane to feel for obstacles.

Silence. He cleared his throat and said he was sorry. I allowed someone to lead me where we could finally sit down. Originally my mansion did not have furniture downstairs, from the feel of the cushions this sofa was new. For some time, as they chattered with Abomination chiming in, I touched and felt everything around me.

“Um I apologize. And thank you for your help.” I admitted, feeling my eartips heat up.

“You’re welcome,” Anders said in that smug, superior voice. Despite my initial rise  of temper, I forced a smile, at least for my other guests. The other man was a dwarf and said he did not mind that I did not offer to hug him. Varric said, “Well he can be shy at first. But don’t worry, we’ll fix you up with more pals.”

I mumbled no need, visualizing crowds of people invading my sanctuary and sighed deeply. I would truly regret it.

 

All expenses would be taken care of, and I should concentrate on recovery. On some days, I was fascinated by the everyday sounds of dogs barking, songs, the buskers’ music, the weekly deliveries of goods. Food smells were enticing and I waited impatiently to eat!  Varric and Donnic, whom I trusted more besides her, moved in.  I think we argued about my ability to protect myself, as I still slept with all my equipment in the same room, but who could win against their solid logic? Gradually I learnt to navigate the house and up the stairs, but was ice-cold with sweat whenever it was time to make my way down. Independence was now a distant memory, even with small issues like that. On one hand I hated having to bother my friends (did they doubt their status when I was like an angsty porcupine), yet I knew I had to face reality and try to move forward.

 

* * *

 

                         **Excuse me, what is a cat doing here??**

Good times were fleeting------- Some days when anger and impatience still got the better of me. It’s a joke that humans call _us elegant and graceful,_ especially when I bumped into pillars and walls. I must be clumsier than a child learning to walk.  

 Of course I wanted to be less of a burden and soon repay their hospitality with action, but on some days I just wanted to sleep.  Anders administered poultices to my eyes daily and talked obsessively of his cat rescues and how adorable some of them were. I didn’t know why he must keep up the incessant babbling.

“I know you won’t thank me, Elf but the least you can do is to listen.”

I grumbled in Tevene and almost gasped at the ticklish fur and purring that climbed onto my lap. Infuriating mage laughed. “Here you are, Polly. Having an animal is good company. They are so unconditional and simple.” The cat mewed pitifully and butted its head on my hand. At first I tensed, concerned that the spikes would hurt it but its whiskers were touching my bare arm. “I know. But, I can’t care for it. Ah.”

When my gloves were stripped, I located its triangular ears and gave Polly a massage.

“Don’t worry cats are all self sufficient. Polly’s always got herself fed. Can she stay here awhile? She really likes you, everyday she has followed me here.”

 

What? My mansion is NOT AN ANIMAL SHELTER! I opened my mouth to scold him.

“Please, Elf. I’ve too many patients to take care of in the coming week. ” His voice turned wheedly and the blurry image of Anders’ sad brown eyes was stirred up in memory. Why was I going soft? As if to highlight the plight of kitty- suffering, Polly’s paw batted my hand without unsheathing the claws.

“Fine. Only a while, I need sleep too. ” I rubbed my forehead. Hawke’s voice joined in and they were cooing at the feline’s cuteness, as I relaxed into soft slumber. The cat circled on my chest, making me laugh until she settled down. It was perfectly content.

 Other than them taking turns to tell stories and reading to me, I learnt to memorize where everything was. My door was to the right, about ten paces from the stairs. Bells were attached to handles. Someone would call out ‘step’ before I ambled down, twenty-five steps altogether. Donnic was good, making sure that discarded things were picked up and furniture was moved to the rightful positions. Whenever I tripped or bumped into an obstacle, I would curse at the unfairness of the world. But, that wore me out so I soon stopped.

The cat would leap off some ledge and perch on my shoulder, meowing into my ear.

I wished I could see how she looked like.

“What color is this cat?” I was curious as one of my companions prepared its meal.

“Polly, she’s a mix of orange and black. Her tail is perfectly long!” Mage supplied. They made cooing sounds.

“Hm but she still responds to _hey cat_.”  Isabela had a long giggling fit and coughed. I shrugged. Anders grumbled that cats have dignity equal to people. I didn’t mind, as long as he didn’t go into the diatribe of oppression to his kind.

 

* * *

  

**Skirmish & Lies**

 Occasionally I found it tough to buckle on the armor without aid, but the gauntlets were better. Before this happened, when I hurried I learnt to fasten the catches without having to see them come together. For the first half month or so of this “New Life” ,they did not tip me about risky ventures, or mercenary jobs. What kind of life was it just going on small errands in the market?

 Hawke was worried (an understatement) for my safety when she shouldn’t be.

“I can hear and smell, didn’t you say all that before? This body is a weapon, Luciana.” I used her name and forced my steeliest glare from blank eyes, in what I hoped was the right direction. She ordered me to remain at the back. We were on a mercenary job in Hightown and facing off with foolish robbers. Normally, Aveline and I would take the brunt of the aggressors. To people watching, I became a blue glowing figure, the burn of the mana magnifying my normal strength. The thugs were swearing and mocking we couldn’t possibly win. As I wielded the Blade of Mercy, I concentrated on pinpointing the rough positions of the enemies.

Quietly, she said, “I know you can, Fenris. Don’t be impulsive. Isabela, Aveline get into position!” Conflict exploded.

“He’s the ex-property! Weak- get him!” I smiled, one hand crushing a throat and knelt, slicing my sword through another’s belly. The iron-tang of blood pouring.

“You will all suffer.” I said, disarming two more enemies in a smooth motion.

Isabela counted aloud how many were down. “Sexy as always! ”

I sighed, feeling her and Aveline on either side of me. Can’t explain the instinct of how I could tell if a friendly was close by, except these senses helped immensely. “Glad you’re with us. It was dull with me solely charging,” Aveline added. _No way_ would I admit I missed fighting skirmishes like that, but I smiled. The pirate liked to talk nonsense, what she claimed was a tactical choice.

 

We seemed to have the advantage until Hawke yelled, “Fenris! Arrow incoming, shit! You bastards!”  From the thud of rotating daggers slamming into flesh, to the release of bowstrings being released, I listened. Would I really be meeting death here? No time to dodge now, the only decision I could take was pray semi-invisibility would work now.

All of their voices panicking as they shouted. I inhaled deeply and Phased. There was slight pain as the arrows penetrated one lung and my shoulder, but I kept a hold on the lyrium’s power until the shafts were out on the other side. I staggered, lightheaded.

Hawke cried out if I was injured, supporting my weight. “Wow they’re not covered in blood. I’m jealous of this magic, Broody,” Bela jested. Slight panting and my heartrate was faster than I would have liked.

“Really? So you’re okay? Here, get some rest.” I allowed them to lead me to a bench. As they talked, I checked my injuries. Except for some aching muscles, the arrows had not stabbed me! “I am unhurt. Apologies, Isabela. Thank you.” The pirate said something in her language.

Aveline sounded choked up as she touched my cheek. I smiled. “You almost gave me a heart attack, idiot.” I could imagine her scowling and folding her arms. She slapped my back gently. I said, "Ha you won't get one, 'Line." She laughed. 

Then I caught a whiff of blood, how? Hawke gasped and let go of my hand.

“What is it? Who is bleeding?” I demanded. Now they were cutting me out, with that wretched _Silence_ and then Hawke said cheerfully ‘nobody’. She lied, my ears detected her false cheerfulness. The others remained silent. I scowled.

“Let’s get you both home. Luciana, your house or his? ” Aveline’s Captain- voice took over. The pirate got me to hold her belt while she walked beside me. She did not smell like fish and whisky today.

 

*****

The dwarves and her mother talked to us and it was some time before we could be alone. I appreciated Leandra not caring about status, so long as I took good care of her daughter. She didn’t mention anything about my lack of vision these days. I was used to taking a bath independently as long as I didn't step on soapy water. After we bathed, I was determined to get to the point.

“You got cut didn’t you? On the claws.” I said, trying to sound normal. Actually, I didn’t like it when they stopped speaking because I couldn’t sense their vibe and mood. Wounding my pride was not why.

“Um stop worrying. I’ll just take an elfroot potion and disinfect it.”

I did not miss the soft hiss of pain. Now that my hands were bare, I patted the air until I touched her shoulder. “Why did you grab me suddenly?” I blinked, would the blurry blobs of shape come back like that day?  

The sound of cloth tearing, liquid being poured out of a vial.  “I thought you were hit, Fenris. I can take care of myself. Please.” She moved away, I felt the mattress lift. The air was empty. No I was too drained to see even a bit of color today.

“You need to be careful. I—I wish you won’t keep secrets from me. I’m not a child.” Her bare feet padded further away, to her desk. She had a mirror, which was useless to a blind elf. Damn, to talk about feelings was hard.

“What do you mean? We let you come on missions now. And you still rush to the front, recklessly.” She had a pitch of annoyance.

Of everyone, I expected her and Varric to be more understanding! “You- you say nothing is wrong. But that’s not true and I can’t… take part in the talks which you all are silent! _Kavesh,_ I can’t see your expressions. ” I felt my fingers pointing, though unsure which direction Hawke was.

She exhaled and I felt her coming close. I held up both hands, needing the space. “I am sorry, Fenris. We don’t want you to get upset, worried. There is no secret. It’s been a really long day. Can we talk more tomorrow?”

 _Stop leaving me out of decisions. I don’t want or need apologies._  Tomorrow was neverending. Night and day was all the same to me, until someone had the courtesy to say so. She called Polly as we lay down together. We kissed, but I did not feel happy tonight and turned my back. The furry ball butted her way between us on the pillow.

“You’re always loving Polly. I wonder what you will dream of hm?” She moved, carrying the animal over to her side and planted kisses over it. Snoring. The soft paws kneaded my cheek and Polly sniffed at my ear. “Hm?” She made a circle and settled down near my neck. It’s a miracle that she does not get crushed lying in between us. My spirits lifted. Why did this feline want to follow me about so badly?   

Feeling such bone-weariness was nice, nightmares were highly unlikely to haunt my sleep. This month, I had no more bad dreams of Danarius. I didn’t always sleep over here, afraid I would flail and accidentally hurt my lover. In my own bedroom, sometimes I had been seized by the Fade and shaken like a ragdoll. Then I would come to, lying on the floor and panting as though I had gone for a run. Oddly, when the Polly started keeping me company, I only awakened once to go to the bathroom and then it was a sound sleep throughout till my housemates talked. 

                       

***************

**Victory**

 

The day that Sight returned was breathtaking. I did not dare to look at first, just kept my lids closed against the hot white sunlight. My hearing had sharpened to a finer acuteness. Maybe it had come back the evening before, while I was by the firelight. Not just the flames crackling, but I had glimpsed orange-white when I blinked. But I didn't want to get my hopes up.

Isabela had turned me to face the open window. Then she said she wanted to be present for this moment. My lyrium ached and I had to control it, though my emotions were confusing and swirling, strong.

“I want to be alone.”  

 She argued " Hey Fen, why do you get shy now?" But I repeated this as calmly as I could muster.  I almost fell from the sheer heat of tears being exposed to light again after so long. The first thing I wanted to see were my hands! There were the familiar blue silver lines becoming a star on my palms, and then Kirkwall’s other houses opposite mine. Even the old curtains on these windows, faded red, were fascinating. How I had missed the sensation of colors once more.

Everything had a blurry double line at first and I squinted. _I CAN SEE! Couldn’t explain this welling up of pure relief and joy, sadness and shock all at once_! I had an irrepressible urge to shout, but there were so many of them in the mansion.

 Isabela asked, at the doorway. “Elf how is it? Wanna look at me? Oh Hawke’s rushing home to see you.”

 “All is well!” I turned around and she squealed, dancing and talking a lot. I didn’t hear all of that, if you attempt to analyze her meanings, you will be insane.  She looked the same, black curly hair loose, two small daggers at her voluminous hips.  Now she was wearing a dress exposing her breasts. “Nice um- dress.”  When it had been dark, I had forgotten about Isabela’s clothing style and how dark skinned she was. She hugged me briefly and of course the pain made me push her away, but she laughed. Wait, I couldn’t forget the cat! The animal showed up, just as I was about to exit the room. She was exquisite, and very fat, her tail held high with a white tip. Her face was a black and white mask, with amber eyes.

My heart felt so full, that I tried to speak her name but could not. “Hi Polly. I can see you. ” I knelt and opened my hand. I could not talk in that high pitched tone that Hawke and Mage did.

 The cute tail swished from side to side and suddenly she pressed her nose to my hand. Then she did figure eights around my legs. “Come on, want some food?” When I walked down, I knew she was close by,and did not have to check.

 

Dwarf and Anders came next. I gruffly thanked the mage looking on the floor. He cleared his throat multiple times, his face red and had not shaved. He had not brought along his staff today.

Dwarf said, “Hey Blondie, if you need a drink just ask. I bet Broody has loads of wines in his cellars.” Anders retorted indignantly.

 

I laughed. “I understand, mage. You look funny still, Varric. No beard. I shall have to check if there’s stock.”

 

Varric grinned. “That’s the spirit! This calls for a BIG celebration!” The cellar had a few bottles so I let them take more. Half a glass was enough for me. Simple pleasures.

 

My love came in as I stood to receive her. She hugged me so hard that I could not breathe.

“Wait wait, let me see. They’re like jewels, your eyes!” she exclaimed, cupping my face.

 

I was concentrating on every part of her face, from forehead to lips and her blue eyes. “You’ve fully recovered, Fen? Is it real?” She stepped back. Behind us, the other guys urged us to go somewhere private. Isabela grumbled that she wanted to be included in the fun. I tuned them out.

 

“Yes Hawke, I can see.”  I had more to say, but the words would not come, at first. I motioned that we sit together and I kissed her hair. “I love you.”

 

She admitted that I’d always conveyed my needs best, with my enchanting eyes. I felt my cheeks and ears heat up and laughed. “Well, I can work more on that. Hey, can we not go into dangerous explosive caverns again? I don’t wish to follow you mad ones on those missions.”

 

“Oh Fenris, I won’t make you follow! I am sorry…”

 

Now I gently covered her mouth. Had so much to say! “No need. It was very hard, I admit. As if someone cruel had turned off all the light. I guess I _have_ gained much more. Thought things can’t possibly be worse. Your voices can be so many, ups, downs and colourful. ”

I took her hand to cover my chest so she could feel my heartbeat. She became red and leaned her head on my shoulder. Polly materialised from nowhere and mewed for our attention. “So we’re even now? Fen.”

 

“No. If you lie to me I will be angry.” I smirked.

 

Perhaps I might run into slavehunters after tomorrow, but I don’t care. Because having the gift to see the people I care about, is priceless! Nothing else matters.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 


End file.
